Money used to be my personal boogeyman. Every time I checked my bank account, my stomach did a somersault. I’d freeze up when faced with big financial decisions, like investing in my side hustle or even buying a new laptop, convinced I was one bad move away from disaster.
I’m not talking about just being cautious—I mean full-on, hide-under-the-covers panic. But I’m done letting money run my life.
I’m on a messy, human journey to take back control, and I’m sharing it all—the good, the bad, and the downright embarrassing—so you can see how I’m tackling my money fears, one shaky step at a time.
The Roots of My Money Anxiety
My fear of money didn’t just pop up out of nowhere. It’s like a bad family heirloom, passed down from my childhood. Growing up, money was the uninvited guest at every dinner table.
My parents were constantly stressed—bills stacked up like a game of Jenga, and every little expense sparked a fight. I internalized that chaos, believing money was a monster that could ruin everything. Now, as I run my own small business, those old fears tag along like unwanted baggage.
I’ll second-guess buying new tools or hiring help, terrified I’ll end up broke. And let’s not even talk about social media—scrolling through influencers flexing their perfect lives makes me feel like I’m failing if my bank account doesn’t sparkle.
But here’s the thing: I’m starting to get it. It’s not about chasing a million bucks; it’s about not letting money call the shots. I’ve been journaling about those childhood memories, spilling out the stress and shame onto the page.
It’s like unclenching a fist I didn’t know I was holding. I’ve also started opening up to my business partner about it—turns out, just saying “money freaks me out” out loud makes it less terrifying. I’m not alone, and neither are you.
The Money Fears That Keep Me Up at Night
My money fears are like a horror movie marathon in my head. First up: the dread of going broke. Every time I splurge on something big—like a new camera for my business—I’m half-convinced it’s the first step toward living in a cardboard box.
Then there’s debt, which feels like a monster under the bed. I’ve heard too many stories of people buried under credit card bills, so I treat loans like they’re radioactive. I’m also scared of screwing up big time—losing my business, picking a terrible investment, or falling for some slick online scam.
Don’t even get me started on online banking; I’m always one click away from imagining a hacker draining my account.
But naming these fears? That’s been a game-changer. I started writing them down, like a list of villains I’m ready to face. It’s not pretty, but it’s honest.
And when I share these worries with a trusted friend or my business partner, they don’t laugh or judge—they nod, because they’ve got their own money monsters too. It’s like shining a flashlight into the dark corners of my brain. Suddenly, those fears don’t seem so unbeatable.
